I used to fight as Helga the Shield Maiden, and had my favorite weapons. One of those was my trusty hand axe. You can do almost anything with an axe. On one of our trips to southern warm waters, I happened to put my axe down in the boat. Another shield maiden picked it up and claimed it as her own!
We yelled at each other, using language my father would have been upset to learn that I knew. She claimed the axe had been hers first, and that I had taken it from her. I said it had my name burnt onto the handle, so it was mine now, no matter the origin. We started pushing and shoving each other across the boat. All of the men on the boat quickly got out of the way and started making bets on who would win this fight.
We wrestled with each, pulling hair and trying to gouge each other’s eyes out. I finally got my axe back in my hand, and made a rush at her. She stepped aside at the last moment, and I went flying over the side of the boat, into the water. KERPLOOSH!!!
Fortunately for me, a shark happened to be swimming by just at that exact moment. My axe landed in its skull and we had shark for dinner that night. I kept a tooth as a memento. I still have my axe.